I feel the urge again
Flooding my body like heavy rain.
Needing something to stop the thoughts
Searching for a way to untie the knots.
Looking desperately from one thing to another
Hoping to find a way out of the smother.
Suddenly a glare catches my eye
This object is calling me, but why?
I take it into my hand with fright
Once it's open, the "click" brings delight.
Rubbing the cool metal against my skin
Quivering with pleasure from deep within.
I slide the tip along my veins
Suddenly, I start to forget other pains.
I feel the edge so sharp and rigid
The surface is shiny yet so very frigid.
Guiding the blade into my skin
I feel nothing of the anguish within.
Feeling the separation of my cells
I suddenly have no fear of living this Hell.
The crimson blood slowly seeps out of the cuts
Trickling down my body the mounting tension erupts.
Although these wounds of flesh will heal
The anguish will return, like I do to my cold steel.